I hate remembering. The idea of rewinding back to my past frightens me; how easily I can put myself back into those shoes I was once in. As grateful as I may be about who I am, remembering is something I don’t want to do. Why? Every day, I continue to create a new version of myself… and remembering will only lead me backward. Maybe I’m not phrasing this correctly. I meant to say, I hate remembering all the time. Small things here and there remind me of the person I once was, yet I like to remind myself that that was then.. and this is now. I’ve had my share of regrets, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. But they’ve made me better but remembering and holding onto those memories will not make me a better person.
After what I witnessed tonight, I saw my old self through it. I didn’t know what to feel. But I do know that I had to ask myself, “Was that really me?” Up until now, I don’t know if that was good or bad. But whatever it may be, it’s not who I am anymore.